Click here to find out how to donate.
When a family so unexpectantly loses a child, they do not
often have the ability to prepare and plan for capturing
their few and brief memories. For many families they do
not have a camera with them, or they can’t imagine holding
or seeing their child. The reaction is one of such shock,
that it is often many days or months later when the family
can pull things into perspective and begin to wish for things
they had not thought to do.
We were fortunate, we had a camera and we were able to have
friends brings us the family baptismal water for us to use in
baptizing Brody. Yet, with all of that clarity in the few hours
we had to respond to our reality, I still have regrets. I wish
I had dressed my son in a gown the hospital provided, I wish
we had taken a picture of Brody without his hat on – he had
beautiful black hair and our pictures don’t reflect that.
And, of course, I wish I had held my son longer.
One of our saving graces of having so few regrets was because of the amazing
staff at our hospital, and a box they gave to us. This box is
called the ‘Memory Box’, for us it is Brody’s Box. Our nurses
took polaroid pictures of our son, captured his handprints and
footprints, measured his body and head using a disposable tape,
and cut a lock of his hair. They brought him to us wearing a
hat, and they had a gown ready for him. As our child was not
born alive, he was not issued a birth certificate, one of
the harshest realities for us through all of this; yet, the
staff did provide us with a decorative birth certificate.
All of these memories were placed in a box for us to take
home and to look at when we were ready for them. Without
this box, we would have had only a single picture to
remember our son by.
In addition to our memories, they provided materials on grieving
and infant loss – resources for us when we needed them. When we think
about our loss, Brody’s box has provided us immeasurable comfort – it
has affirmed the life we had within me for 10 months, providing us
tangible proof of our very real son who left us just as we were about
to meet him.
We had many wonderful family and friends who wanted to dontate money
to a fund in memory of Brody. As our son’s death was due to a rare cord
accident – we did not readily have a fund to suggest – it is not something
that science can really work on a cure for. However, for others to be comforted as
we were through our box of memories, provided us a bit of comfort and hope. And
so, friends of ours came together to help establish the Brody W. Cox Fund with the
purpose of funding other people's memory boxes and providing support for the family
and hosptial staff who must endure such heartache. It is our hope that this will
somehow help to heal broken hearts and dreams.
Click here to find out how to donate.
